The Story
by stefanie437
Summary: This is the story of James and Lily. Lily, a reporter for the Daily Prophet, and James, a Professional Quidditch player, become acquainted as Lily aims to write the story of the century. When secrets are revealed and hearts get broken, Lily is torn between her feelings and her job. AU James/Lily. I recently changed the rating to M, for language mostly (and later chapters).
1. Meeting

**A/N: Hi all! I wrote this story originally as a drabble for a Tumblr Challenge. I received several reviews suggesting that I expand it into a multi-chaptered story, and this is my attempt! This is my first try at a multi-chaptered fic, so don't judge me too harshly! However, please don't hesitate to review with comments and critique! I have kept the original drabble as a separate post entitled "AU Quidditch," but have changed it a bit to add more background for the story. Thanks to my lovely beta, Ayla! (iheartmatttuck on Tumblr). **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

* * *

James Potter sauntered into the locker room, feeling quite accomplished after an impressive practice. He had flown beautifully- scoring goals, dodging bludgers, and throwing arching passes that hit their marks every time. His teammates regarded him with an odd contradiction of jealousy and awe of his skills. They couldn't help but admire him, despite their strong urges to strangle the prat. That was exactly how James liked it.

As he was leaving the pitch, James' coach had informed him that he was orchestrating yet another interview for yet another magazine which would likely result in yet another piece gushing about the handsome and talented "role model" that is James Potter.

Smiling a bit to himself, James tossed his goggles on the bench and quickly pulled off his shirt. James was never the type to feel self-conscious or fret about his body. He knew that he was attractive. He worked hard to maintain his physique, and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to show it off. He was just about to remove his trousers when he heard a throat clear behind him.

James turned to find the most stunningly beautiful woman he had ever seen. Red hair flowed over her shoulders in soft waves, freckles dotted her porcelain skin, and her jeans hugged her curves beautifully. James Potter wasn't often impressed, but this angelic creature caught him off guard. It was as if something inside him snapped, completely fell apart, and then righted itself—in an instant.

He cleared his throat as well, willing his voice to come out steadily.

"How did you get in here?"

'That's for me to know, and you to find out," the woman smirked. She approached James, her heels clicking on the floor. The sound sent shivers up his spine, but he managed to arrange his lips into the irresistible smile that usually had women falling at his feet. His charms captivated every woman, and this one would be no different. She leaned across the bench, her face inches from his.

"Would you be interested in doing a series of private interviews with me for a piece to be published in _The Daily Prophet_?"

He struggled to find his voice again (_Why did this keep happening_?) as the red-haired vixen continued to stare into his eyes. He felt like her green eyes were seeing through his suave exterior, through his swagger. She was… she was seeing _him._ n He felt his composure slipping as he struggled to remain calm. Somehow, he knew this woman wouldn't be like the others (the many, _many _others). He knew he wouldn't be able to lie to this woman. Ever.

"I suppose that would be doable," he managed to say. "Next week, over dinner?"

The woman smiled. James' heart fell into his stomach.

"Excellent. I look forward to learning more about you, Mr. Potter."

The reporter smiled dazzlingly before turning on her heel and strutting towards the door.

"Wait!" James tore his eyes from her retreating backside and looked her in the eye as she turned back around. "You didn't mention your name."

"That's for me to know, and you to find out," she repeated with a wink.

James watched the door slam behind her before shaking his head and closing his gaping mouth with a snap. He ran from the locker room, still shirtless, and stopped one of the photographers who had been taking photos of the pitch.

"Do you know who that reporter is?" he asked, straining to catch another glimpse of her as she Disapparated with a crack.

"Why, that's Lily," he said. "Lily Evans."


	2. Confusion

**A/N: Hi all! Thank you for the encouraging reviews! Comments and critique are what keep me going, so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU! **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

* * *

Lily Evans awoke with a start. Her eyes darted to the window, where her snowy owl, Lady, was tapping urgently.

"What do you have for me this early, Lady?" Lily murmured. She threw her feet over the edge of her bed and arched her back gracefully, thankful for the sharp _crack_ that loosened her stiff neck. She pulled the parchment from the owl's beak and tossed her a treat from her dresser.

She read through the note quickly, not surprised to see that it was from her editor. His sharp tone was evident even in writing. He always got a bit ornery when he assigned big stories, and this one was proving to be no exception. His demeanor grew more and more unpleasant as her deadline loomed closer with each passing day.

_Lily, _it began, his handwriting rushed and slanted. _Remember what we talked about. You mustn't let his charms get to you. James Potter has the world wrapped around his finger, and now you must break him. Lie if you have to. If you do not succeed in your assignment, you may find yourself looking for a job. This is the biggest story of your career. Do not fail. _

Lily recoiled. Lie? Sure, she had to use her charms to her advantage often in her field. Tight-lipped sources had to be swayed. Security guards and, _ahem_, locker room attendants had to be fooled. Subjects had to be pried. Journalism often required these tools, and Lily Evans was a pro. Her beauty, charm, and prodigious magical skills made it almost too easy. But outright _lie? _She wasn't sure she could.

This wasn't the first time her editor had suggested less-than-honest methods. Usually, she managed to get the story her own way, without going too far. Perhaps this story, the biggest of her career, would require more effort. After all, he was her boss, her superior. If he was suggesting it, how could she question it?

Lily shook her head. No matter what her heart was screaming at her, she would have to listen to her head. _Do what you have to do to get the story._ It was an unpleasant thought, but it was her job. The world had a right to know the truth about James Potter. Her editor had been discussing these rumors with her for months now. His desire to uncover the truth was consuming him. There was truth to the rumors, he was convinced of it. And he had convinced Lily, too. Still, she almost felt bad for the bloke. He hadn't seemed so bad. Sweet, even. A little pompous, maybe, but she couldn't blame him. He was the best Chaser English Quidditch had seen in 100 years.

Her interaction with the Quidditch star last week made it seem like this would be a piece of cake (she recalled with a smile how far his jaw had dropped when he saw her), but perhaps she shouldn't be too confident. James Potter had a reputation, after all. Of course, the press wrote nothing but glowing pieces about his talent, his looks, his charity projects. But the rumors were there. Whispered in press boxes during matches. Looks exchanged at awards dinners.

James Potter had a secret, and Lily was going to uncover it.

* * *

James threw open the door and tossed his cloak on the table, narrowly missing Sirius Black's steaming cup of coffee.

"Oi! Watch where you throw your things!" Sirius' disgruntled voice rang out as he entered the room. "I was up all night with Sally Whats-Her-Name, and I need that caffeine. Not that I regret it, mind you," he added with a chuckle.

James completely ignored Sirius and hurried into his room, slamming the door behind him.

"Prongs?" Sirius banged on James' door. "What the hell has gotten into you?"

"I'm not sure exactly," came James' muffled voice from inside. "I feel completely out of sorts about this dinner with that reporter tonight."

James flung open his door. He was in various states of undress, his shirt un-tucked, his tie crooked, and his hair as messy as ever. Sirius took in his friend's appearance, his eyes widening at the manic look on James' face.

"Mate, she's just a reporter. You've done hundreds of interviews with reporters."

"You don't understand," James moaned, hurrying past him and flopping onto their crimson sofa, pulling his hands through his jet-black hair. "It's like she's bewitched me or something. I mean, she's gorgeous, yeah, but there's something else. I can't get her out of my head. I've never felt so out of control around a bird before, even one as beautiful as she is. What the hell is wrong with me?"

Sirius released a long breath. "She's unattainable, mate. She's a reporter. You can't date her, but you're attracted to her. It's the thrill of the chase, that's all. If she was just another woman for you to be with, she wouldn't be in your head this much. Just relax and turn on the Potter charm, yeah?"

"Yeah, okay." James stood up, straightening his shirt and arranging his tie. "You're totally right."

"See? You'll be fine," Sirius clapped James on the shoulder and made his way into his own bedroom, shutting the door loudly behind him.

But the fluttering in James' stomach hadn't subsided at all. The way she had looked at him…the way something inside of him had snapped…he couldn't help but think that Lily Evans was something special.

Sure, he'd been with a lot of women- he was a famous Quidditch player, after all-but he didn't usually toy around with them if he could help it. He was always honest with them, told them from the start that serious dating wasn't his thing. They'd spend one, two, maybe even three nights together, and then they'd move on, no harm done (most of the time). Sometimes hearts got broken anyway, but he couldn't help that. Either way, he'd never wanted to get to know one of them before. But he wanted to _know _Lily Evans, _understand_ her. Touch her, kiss her, _love_ her…

He stopped. Love her? _What was wrong with him? _Those were dangerous thoughts, thoughts that had never crossed James' mind before. Okay, besides that one time. But he had pushed those memories away a long time ago, locking them up deep inside of him. He wasn't going to let those arise again. No sir. Plus, Evans was a _reporter. _Reporters find out things. Things they can use against you. James Potter was a professional at putting up walls, and reporters needed to stay firmly behind those walls. Luckily for James, his charm was infallible. Except, it seemed, when it came to Lily Evans.

_This is ridiculous, _James thought. _I am James bloody Potter and birds do _not _have this effect on me._ James stopped his pacing (when had he started pacing?) and glanced at himself in the mirror. He straightened his tie once more and smiled slightly.

Yes, there was _something_ different about Lily Evans. And he was going to find out exactly what it was.

* * *

**A/N: So here's chapter 2. I hope you like it! Thanks to my awesome beta, Ayla! Reviews/comments make my day**


	3. Feelings

**A/N: Hi all! Please, please keep reviewing! Comments/critique help me SO much! **

**PS: A journalist would probably never have a dinner date like this as an interview. At least, she _shouldn't. _But that's a kind of my point—Lily doesn't always follow the rules. So, I am acknowledging that here now. Plus, this was much more interesting =)**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

* * *

5:43 PM.

Lily glanced at the clock and swore. She was late. Late, late, late. She was supposed to meet James Potter at 5:30 PM at a cozy restaurant in Wizarding London, but she had dozed off over an hour ago, quill in hand, as she drafted a quick piece on a new shop opening in Hogsmeade.

She stumbled toward her closet, grabbed stockings and a black dress, and _prayed _that James Potter had the sense to be fashionably late. A journalist should always be early to an interview—it was an amateur mistake, and Lily was _not _an amateur.

She swore again as her stockings ripped. She muttered a quick _Reparo _and slid them back up her legs, more carefully this time. She shimmied into her little black dress and slipped on red pumps. She had a feeling that Potter wouldn't mind her lateness all that much when she showed up in a short dress and red high heels. But _still, _she couldn't risk him walking out on the interview.

5:48 PM.

A quick flourish of her wand fluffed her curls and applied a touch of makeup (not that she needed it, really). With her notebook tucked safely in her bag, she Disapparated with a _crack. _

When she entered the restaurant she spotted James at a table in the corner, chatting with a waitress.

_Figures, _she thought. _He_ _can't go one day without flirting with some poor, innocent witch. _

James saw her then, and he waved to her as she smoothed her dress and fluffed her hair again. He stood to greet her as she approached the table, and she wished he would drop the gentleman routine. She knew better. She wouldn't be wooed by such efforts. However, she did notice with satisfaction that he struggled to keep his composure as his eyes drifted to her legs.

"So," James joked, "get stuck in traffic, then?"

"I got caught in a meeting," she lied easily, "I am so sorry I'm late." _Please don't throw a fit, _she begged silently to herself. Big-shot subjects often loved to harp on journalists' mistakes. She hoped desperately that he wouldn't use it as an excuse to back out of the interview.

"No matter," he shrugged. "I don't mind."

"Thank you," she said, surprised at how easy-going he was. James' ego had a reputation, and she was expecting the worst. "Let's get started."

She pulled out her notebook and quill and noticed that he had cocked his head to the side and was watching her intently. She felt her cheeks redden slightly under his scrutinizing gaze.

"Is there something the matter?" she asked, completely thrown by her unusual bout of self-consciousness. Lily _never _felt intimidated by a source. She ran the show, always. So why was James Potter making her blush?

"You are so beautiful." He stated it frankly, yet sincerely. She wanted to roll her eyes at his advances, but there was such tenderness in his voice that she found it difficult to convince herself that he was just playing. He had surprised her again.

She was starting to think that when it came to James Potter, her editor might need to check his sources.

* * *

"You are so beautiful."

He felt the words tumble out of his mouth before he could do anything to stop them, but he just couldn't get over how sexy she was. And it wasn't just her dress and her killer legs and amazing hair—there was something in the way she walked, talked, _breathed. _He had hoped that seeing her again would quell his confusion and this strange desire to get to know her, but his feelings seemed to have intensified instead.

"What did you want to talk about?" he tried to change the subject.

"How about your family?" she suggested. "You grew up in the countryside, yes?"

James nodded. "I'm an only child, and my parents were older when I was born," he said. "They were Aurors then. They desperately needed the quiet and relaxation when they were off duty."

Lily scribbled some notes. "Tell me more about your mother and father. What was it like living with two of the most successful Aurors London has ever seen?"

"My mother is wonderful," James said. He looked away from Lily, unable to keep her gaze. "When I was growing up, she did everything she could to make sure I had a normal childhood, despite their long, dangerous missions. She felt so guilty every time she had to leave me with a nanny. I was spoiled, I admit it, but she tried her best to teach me about right and wrong and appreciating everything I had," James continued. "I'm afraid I didn't much live by those standards for most of my life," he reflected, "and I can't stand that I disappointed her."

"You were a bit of a rule-breaker, then?"

James laughed. "I'd say that's accurate."

"What about your father?"

"My father," James sighed, "was very difficult to please. He was unfailingly kind, but he had high expectations for me. When he first taught me to play Quidditch, he knew immediately that I was talented. He pushed me endlessly. Made me practice every minute I was home. It was his dream for me to make the London team, but unfortunately he died shortly before I was accepted."

The words kept spilling out. He knew it was dangerous to feel so at ease with Lily. He knew he should be more guarded, but he couldn't help but pour his heart out to her. His parents meant a lot to him, and it felt good to talk about his father. He hadn't talked about him like this to anyone since his father's death, not even Sirius.

Lily Evans had a very strange effect on him, and he wasn't quite sure he liked it.

* * *

Lily was taken aback by the emotion in James' voice as he spoke of his father. The reverence and pride with which he regarded his parents was clear, and she was impressed once again. She found, to her astonishment, that she enjoyed talking to James. She couldn't help but smile as he recounted several examples of his childhood mischief, including terrorizing his nanny and crashing a Ministry party.

Their laughter was interrupted by the arrival of dinner. Lily hurried to move her glass to make room for her steaming plate, and James' hand brushed hers as he made to do the same. Lily's breath caught and her apology stuck in her throat at the heat that flowed from James' touch. Her eyes rose to meet his, and it was evident that he had felt it, too. His lips twitched and he grinned slightly. She noticed then that their hands were still touching.

She pulled hers away quickly and grabbed her fork. "Let's tuck in, shall we?"

"Right, yeah." James ran his hand through his hair. Lily's cheeks burned again as she tried to immobilize the butterflies in her stomach.

_James Potter is full of surprises. _

* * *

They ate in silence for a few minutes. Lily was still reeling from James' touch and how he had reacted. _He had felt it, too._

Lily snapped back into reporter mode quickly, and asked him about the first time he flew. She tried to concentrate on taking notes and not on the adorable way James' smile reached his eyes as he talked about flying.

"The first time I flew…" James smirked, getting lost in the memory. "Well, the first time I was actually on a broomstick, I was about a year old. My father had gotten me one of those tiny training broomsticks. According to my mother, I crashed into the sofa and bruised my head pretty badly. She took it away after that. Of course, I don't actually remember that. It's just what she told me."

"The first time I _really _flew, really remembered it, I was eight. My mother finally allowed my father to buy me a real broomstick. He took me to the apple orchard in the backyard and told me to go for it."

"He didn't tell you what to do?" asked Lily, a bit bewildered that a parent would just let his child loose on a broomstick.

James smiled, and Lily saw a flash of that Potter ego she had heard so much about. "He didn't need to. I climbed on and kicked off, and it felt as natural as breathing. It was like the broom was an extension of my body. I didn't need to think about what I was doing. I was born to fly."

"When I finally came back down, my father explained the rules of Quidditch as we walked back to the house. The next day, he started throwing apples to me while I flew around the orchard. I caught every single one of them, despite the wind that day. That was when he knew I could be a Chaser. Even when he had to work, I practiced. Sirius and I played every chance we got."

"Sirius?" Lily questioned. "Your teammate?"

"Yeah, Sirius Black. We're roommates, too. He lived nearby when I was a kid."

"Did you have a lot of friends growing up? How about at school? Tell me more about your friends."

"No, no I didn't," James said quickly."I mostly spent time with girls. They were much more interesting to me. Yes, I've spent a _lot _of time with women."

Lily's reporter instincts kicked in. Why did James clam up when she asked about his friends? He had been so open, so honest, and, quite frankly, charming. Then, she asked one question he didn't like, and he started bragging. _He's hiding behind it, _she realized. _He is putting up walls now. _

She had started to doubt her editor's instincts tonight. James had been easy-going, friendly, and genuine. Sure, he bragged a little, but he had a right to. He was talented, after all. When he skirted her question about his friends, though, her curiosity peaked.

She hated how he made her feel. She hated that she was so wrapped up in this story, in him. She hated that she was attracted to him, and she hated that he was proving her wrong. And she hated that he was making it so difficult to uncover his secret.

She asked him a few more basic questions about his Quidditch team and did not bring up his childhood again. He answered her remaining questions hesitantly, as if he was paying more attention to each word he said. He was completely guarded. Something about that question had made him very defensive.

Lily looked at her watch and was astonished to see that their dinner lasted three hours. Every minute that they waited for the check seemed like an hour. When they were finally able to leave, Lily jumped up so quickly she almost knocked over a glass.

Embarrassed, she tried to cover it with a smile. "Thank you so much for meeting with me tonight, James."

"Absolutely. We'll meet next Thursday for the second interview?" he asked. "I'll owl you with a time once I check with my assistant."

"Absolutely," Lily said, fiddling with her notebook so that she could avoid shaking his hand. She didn't want to touch him again. "I look forward to hearing from you."

She turned to leave, but James grabbed her arm. She saw that something in his eyes had softened and he was letting his guard down for a moment.

"Lily, please wait. I…I just wanted to say…" he hastily removed his hand from her arm.  
"I wanted to say thank you for being respectful when I talked about my father," he said, the emotional edge returning to his voice. "Reporters often pry and ask difficult questions about him, and I appreciate that you didn't jump to those right away."

Lily blushed again at his touch. _Why did this keep happening? _She forced herself to look him in the eye, afraid to let him have any more affect on her.

"You're welcome," she finally managed to say. "Eventually I might have to ask some difficult questions, but why rush into that, right?"

He nodded, and his eyes hardened again. "Get home safe, Lily."

He walked past her out of the restaurant, and she heard him Disapparate before she finally moved.

She had never felt so emotionally confused in her entire life. He made her blush with the slightest touch of his hand. She found him _endearing. _And yet…she didn't trust him.

Now she was more desperate than ever to find out what he was hiding. It was time to up the ante.

* * *

James arrived back at his flat, throwing open the door and slamming it behind him angrily. _I've said too much, _he cursed himself. _Family, fine. We can talk about that. Quidditch, of course. But my friends? School? No. I can't let them down. I have to control myself more next time._

"Damn it!" He had a fleeting thought that he needed to better control his temper, but he ignored it and picked up his "Player of the Year" award and threw it across the room, satisfied at the loud crash.

_What have I gotten myself into? _

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter! Thanks so much to my beta, Ayla!**


	4. Neutral

**A/N: Hi all! Sorry I didn't get this up sooner, but Hurricane Sandy has left me without internet for quite a while now. I managed to find some internet today, but I'm not sure how long it'll be until I get back online permanently. I'm working on chapter 5 and hopefully will be able to send it to Ayla soon! I hope you enjoy the story and continue to review! Your comments and criticism are very helpful and motivating! **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

**Chapter 4: **

"Alice! Over here!" Lily waved her friend over to the corner table where she was seated. Alice finally spotted Lily and returned her wave, her blonde curls bouncing as she weaved through the crowded tables. Lily marveled at the sheer joy that seemed to radiate from her friend. Alice was always a spectacularly happy person, but today was something different altogether. Even the sun was dull when compared to Alice.

She sat down at the table, motioning for the waiter to bring two cappuccinos.

"Okay, spill."

"Spill what?" Alice feigned confusion as she struggled to wipe the glowing smile from her face.

"Alice. I couldn't erase that smile from your face with a Vanishing Spell," Lily smirked. "So spill."

"Okay, so maybe I spent the weekend with Frank," Her smile was coy.

"_Longbottom?"_ Lily shrieked. "Frank _Longbottom_? Of the Ministry Desk?"

"The very same," Alice sighed, her cheeks reddening slightly.

"You two didn't do much writing this weekend, I daresay," Lily waggled her eyebrows at Alice.

"No, we did not. Though I did find a rather interesting new use for our quills…" Alice's cheeks were now a deep red and her smile was as brilliant as ever.

"Alice! I'm proud of you, I must say," Lily giggled. "It's about time you had yourself a fling."

Alice cleared her throat at Lily's statement. "Well, I'm not quite sure it's just a fling. I really like him, Lily."

Lily's smile faded slightly. "Oh, Alice, don't tell me you're falling for this guy. He's going to hurt you."

"No, I don't think he will," Alice said. "He told me he loves me."

"He _loves you?" _Lily was flabbergasted. She was happy to see her friend getting a bit of, _ahem, _male attention, but she would not stand idly by while some big shot breaks sweet, innocent Alice's heart. "You barely know the guy!"

"That doesn't matter!" Alice shot back, her voice rising. "It's not about how long I've known him. It's about feelings! I've never felt like this about anyone before. I can't think straight around him. He makes me laugh. He makes my heart race. He _listens _to me. Not to mention what he can do with his mouth-"

"Okay, Alice, I get the point," Lily cut her off irritably. "I'm sure Frank has real feelings for you and he's not just in it for the sex." Her words dripped with sarcasm.

"I knew you'd react like this," Alice shook her head. "Relationships—real ones, with _feelings—_are always a joke for you. You are proud of me for getting a bit of action but the minute I start getting attached, you want me to break it off? Alice crossed her arms and glared at Lily. "You're just jealous."

"Right, I'm totally jealous that you're going to get your heart broken by some guy that doesn't even care about you."

"Oh, come off it, Lily!" Alice stood up angrily. Her flailing arms narrowly missed the waiter arriving with their coffee. "Just because you don't let yourself get close to anyone and you treat men like toys doesn't mean we all should!" She stormed past the bewildered waiter and out the door.

"I do not treat men like toys," Lily muttered to herself as the terrified waiter pushed her coffee toward her and backed away quickly.

Inexplicably, James Potter's face flashed through her mind.

* * *

James pounded on the door again. His mother's hearing wasn't what it once was, and neither was her memory, so he wouldn't be surprised if she forgot to cast the sound-amplifying charm on the front door today.

Just as he was about to go around to the back, the door opened and there was his mother, looking harried but thrilled to see him.

"James! I completely forgot you were coming today!" She pulled him into a tight hug. "Come in! I'll have tea ready in a moment."

James shook his head at his mother's forgetfulness and stepped into the house. He glanced around the entry, amazed as always at how such a grand home could feel so magnificent yet so cozy at the same time. The oriental rugs were plush and comfortable under his feet, the sofa was perfect to sink into after a long day of Quidditch, and scrumptious smells were always wafting from the large, airy kitchen.

James' eyes stopped on his father's chair, still untouched since his father's death. He stared at it for a moment, remembering the smell of his father's cigar smoke as he read the evening _Prophet _from that very chair each night.

"James?" his mother interrupted his thoughts. "Are you coming?"

He turned away from the chair and hurried into the kitchen, where his mother had set out tea and biscuits.

"Tell me what you've been up to lately, son."

To James' chagrin, the first thought he had was of Lily Evans. The more he tried to forget about his feelings for her, the stronger they became. She was always at the forefront of his mind, and that was very, _very _dangerous.

He tried desperately to think of something else, _anything else, _to tell his mother. She could always tell when James was lying, and he knew she wouldn't let it go until he told the truth.

"I'm being interviewed for an article to be published in _The Daily Prophet."_

"Oh?" Her eyes narrowed. His mother was always suspicious of the press, especially since his father's death. "Who is the reporter? Not that dolt from last time, I hope?"

"No, not him. Lily Evans. This is her first time covering Quidditch, but she seems to be rather competent."

"I see," she looked at him critically before taking a sip of her tea. "And what has she been asking you about?"

"You know, the usual," he said, perhaps a little too quickly, for her eyes narrowed again. "My early days playing Quidditch, my childhood."

"Has she asked you about your friends? Or school? Your father?"

James really shouldn't be surprised at how perceptive his mother is. After all, she is one of the most respected Aurors the Ministry has seen in the last fifty years.

"She tried to, but I think I deflected well enough. She was more interested in the first time I flew."

Mrs. Potter relaxed a bit at his words, though she started stirring her tea, which James understood to mean that she was thinking.

"Is she pretty?"

James couldn't stop the blush that crept onto his face.

"She's, well, she's-" he paused, then blurted, "Yes. She's very pretty."

"James," his mother scolded. "You have feelings for her, don't you?"

"I most certainly do not!" he cringed at how high-pitched his voice sounded. Lily Evans was turning him into a freaking pansy.

"Well, deny it all you want, but the James Potter I know doesn't blush when he talks about a woman. He makes women blush, not the other way around."

James rolled his eyes as she continued, "Just be careful, that's all I'm saying. If she gets in your pants, she gets the story."

"Mum!" James cried, embarrassed. "No one is getting in anyone's pants!"

"Sure, sure. Just remember what I said."

* * *

Lily looked to the window for the tenth time that day, hoping to see Alice's snowy owl appear with a note. She hadn't heard from her friend since their argument in the coffee shop the other day, and it wasn't like Alice to hold a grudge. Alice hated when people were angry with her. Lily had expected that things would be back to normal in time for their usual Friday afternoon tea, but now she was starting to worry. She might have to apologize, and Lily hated nothing more than admitting she was wrong.

Though Lily would always want to protect her friend from men with less-than-pure intentions, perhaps she should trust Alice's judgment a bit more. Alice isn't stupid, even if a bit impulsive. So Lily reluctantly swallowed her pride and scribbled a quick note asking Alice to Floo her later. As she watched Lady disappear into the distance, she began preparing for her interview with James.

She chose her outfit carefully. She fingered her tan skirt, and then hesitated. She had been thinking about James embarrassingly often since their first interview. After their last meeting, she had been determined to up the ante. But as the week had gone on, she was finding it more and more difficult to feel indifferent about her assignment. Alice's words flashed through her head again, and she tensed at the feeling of guilt that settled in her stomach. _Just because _you_ treat men like toys…_

_I am not using James Potter, _she tried to convince herself firmly. _Holding his interest so I can get my job done is not the same as toying around with him. _

_Who am I kidding? Of course it is. _She rememberedthe way he looked at her that remembered the laughter and hope in his eyes. She remembered the way he trusted her and told her about his mother. She shook her head, trying to forget. _It doesn't matter. I cannot fail. He wouldn't give me the consideration if it were the other way around! Right? _She made up her mind and pulled on her skirt.

She tried desperately to push thoughts of James out of her head as she grabbed her bag and left the apartment.

_Keep it together, Lily Evans. Keep it together. Do what you must to get the story. _

* * *

James stood anxiously outside the pub, trying to appear relaxed as he searched the crowd for Lily.

He silently cursed himself for visiting his mother before the interview. Her words had been echoing in his mind since he left the house. He knew she was right—getting close to Lily would only make certain that he would get hurt. The idea of damaging his reputation- not to mention that of his team, family, or friends- plagued him greatly.

And, less importantly, but equally as distracting, was the thought of Lily Evans "getting into his pants." He gulped and ran his hands through his hair.

Damn his mother. Damn her to hell.

He was trying to think of something repulsive to suppress the activity now occurring in his trousers—Sirius in a bikini? Losing at Quidditch? Boogie flavored Bertie Botts? —when he saw a flash a red to his left.

"Lily," he waved nonchalantly, though there was nothing nonchalant about the way he was feeling. He ran his hands through his hair." Nice to see you again."

"You, too," she smiled at him, and his heart leapt. He returned her smile and held the door for her as they entered. He hoped that the casual atmosphere of the pub would help put him at ease and he wouldn't make such a fool of himself this time.

_I'm certainly off to a great start, _he thought sarcastically.

They settled at a table near the back of the pub where it was a bit quieter. His hand brushed hers as he handed her the menu, and he wondered what it would be like to hold her hand. He wanted to hold her hand as they walked through the park, he wanted to hold her face as he kissed her, he wanted to hold her in his arms as they-

"James?"

"Uh, sorry?" he realized then that she had been talking. He was botching this up spectacularly.

"Have you heard a word I've said to you since we sat down?" she scolded, though her tone was light and he could see she was trying to repress a smile. "I know it can be difficult for you to focus on something other than Quidditch, but do try, will you?" She smirked for real this time and leaned forward, her eyes bright.

_Is she flirting with me? Could Lily Evans possibly be flirting with me? _

James decided to take a chance.

"You have a beautiful smile," he said, running his hands through his hair again. "I can't think straight when you smile like that."

Something flashed across her face so fast he almost missed it—was that _guilt? Hurt? Confusion?_—but then her smile was back and as natural as ever.

"You, James Potter, are too adorable for your own good."

* * *

Lily had walked into the pub determined not to feel guilty about James. She got to this point in her career by being tactful and removed from her emotions, not by worrying about her subjects. James is just another interview subject, and she was going to treat him as such. If only he wasn't so damn sexy when he ran his hands through his hair…

Lily was still feeling somewhat confident as she greeted James and they sat down at the table. She knew how to flirt with subjects, though usually, it felt more like a challenge. Most of the time, she didn't really want to. She just did what she had to do. But flirting with James was soeasy. In fact, _everything _with James was easy. Her heart wanted to melt when she saw him get so distracted by the touch of her hand. She found that she couldn't stop smiling at him.

Then she remembered how angry her editor would be if she came back empty handed, again. Up the ante, remember? She openly flirted with him now, and he responded exactly how she expected him to.

What she didn't expect was just how much it hurt when he told her she was beautiful. She knew he was flirting with her purposely, but she also knew he wasn't kidding around. He thought she was beautiful. Her face fell at his compliment, she knew it did, but she pulled it together quickly.

The remainder of their interview was even more confusing. She asked him about his professional Quidditch team, his teammates, and his strategy for the upcoming season opening match. She felt completely comfortable talking to him and listening to him—so much so, in fact, that she almost forgot she was working. She was surprised, again, at how interested she was in what he had to say. Her subjects' lives rarely interested her this much.

They finished up and made their way out of the pub and into the bright sunshine. She glanced at James and was happy to notice that he was much more relaxed now than he had been when they first arrived at the pub. Flirting seemed to have lessened his nerves a bit. They walked aimlessly for a few blocks until James said, "Well, this is me." He pointed to the apartment building behind him.

"I'll owl you later in the week then?" she said. She looked at him, really looked at him, and was embarrassed that the butterflies in her stomach were making another appearance. He smiled that heart-melting smile of his and said quietly, "I look forward to it."

He touched her hand briefly before turning and entering his apartment. Lily watched him go, wondering why it suddenly felt like they had just gone on a date.

_This staying neutral thing is going to be a lot harder than I thought. _


	5. Shock

**A/N: Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I had such fun writing it! Reviews mean SO MUCH TO ME so please review! **

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

**Chapter 5: **

Lily arrived at Alice's flat for Friday tea prepared to grovel. Alice had, of course, accepted Lily's apology when they spoke a few days ago, but Lily knew it wouldn't be the end of their trouble until they had a "little chat" about it. Alice never held grudges, but that didn't mean she let things go without getting her say first.

She knocked tentatively on the door, but received no answer. She could hear scurrying and muffled voices inside, and then Alice swearing, but the door still didn't open. It was quiet for a moment, and then Lily jumped at a loud _crack _from inside the flat.

"Alice?"

Finally, about a minute later, a very flustered Alice flung open the door.

"Sorry—one moment—just a bit—behind schedule—" Lily entered the flat as Alice hurried into the kitchen, trying to smooth down her hair and straighten her skirt as she went. Her face was flushed and red as she readied the teakettle, and she wouldn't meet Lily's eyes.

"Alice!" Lily gasped. "Were you just…" she shook her head disbelievingly, "were you just _snogging someone?" _

Alice didn't answer for a moment. She didn't turn around, but Lily could see the back of her neck flush deeper as she slowly nodded.

"Oh, Alice," Lily tried not to scold. "What has gotten into you? Sneaking around? Really?"

"Don't be condescending, please," Alice turned around and crossed her arms. "I know you're dying to lecture me on getting too involved with Frank, but please give it a rest."

"Actually, I have already apologized for what I said the other day, if you recall," responded Lily calmly. "I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all. I've never seen you like this before."

"I know. That's because I've never been in love before." Alice smiled a little, and Lily managed not to roll her eyes.

"I meant what I said. I trust you not to do anything stupid. You're smart, Alice. Just—maybe take it a bit slower? Really get to know him before you go claiming you're in love?" Lily suggested.

"Well, actually…I may not have been completely honest with you, Lily," Alice wrung a dishtowel through her hands guiltily. "I…I've been seeing Frank for six months now."

Lily's mouth fell open. _Six months? _"How did I not know this?" Lily whispered. "I can't believe you were sneaking around and felt like you couldn't tell me. Am I that terrible of a friend that I didn't know something was going on?"

"No! Don't say that," Alice rushed forward, enveloping Lily in a hug. "We wanted to keep it between us for a while. Because… well…Frank's mother is quite ill, and he didn't want to stress her with anything. Yes. That's all. You're not a bad friend. Trust me."

"I want you to be happy, Alice. I really do. Just be careful. I don't like that Frank is asking you to sneak around." Lily hugged Alice tighter.

"It wasn't Frank's idea," Alice said quickly. "It was mine. I knew how much her illness was affecting him. Really, don't think poorly of Frank."

Lily pulled out of the hug and looked her friend in the eye. She felt like maybe Alice wasn't telling her the whole story, but she knew that no amount of prying would get it out of her until she was ready.

"I don't think poorly of him. Don't worry." She smiled at her friend.

"Men can be trusted sometimes, you know," Alice said in response. "Falling in love doesn't make you weak, Lily."

"Shall we have tea then?" Lily effectively avoided responding to her friend's statement as she turned and grabbed the teacups from the cabinet.

She was thinking about James again.

* * *

James was lying on his bed, thinking about life.

He knew that he really shouldn't. Think about life, that is. Thinking deeply about his life often resulted in him doing something extraordinarily rash, often with spectacularly disastrous results. But he couldn't help it. Ever since Lily Evans had waltzed into that locker room three weeks ago, he hadn't been able to keep his head on straight.

James had always felt pretty secure about his life. When he attended school, he excelled in his classes, impressed his professors, and broke records on the Quidditch pitch. He never had to worry about money, or anything of the sort. He never thought twice about what he would do when he was through with school. He knew he was going to play professional Quidditch. When he became the youngest captain Hogwarts had seen in a century, he had basically guaranteed himself a spot on any of the top teams in Britain.

But he never once thought about what he'd do other than Quidditch.

Despite the astoundingly long list of women he had dated, he never thought about marriage, or a family, or a house in the countryside. He had imagined a sort of perpetual bachelorhood, living in a flat with Sirius, attending parties and events, and playing Quidditch.

Then, last year, his father died. Until then, he didn't dwell on the fact that his parents would one day pass on, leaving him alone in the world. He had no brothers or sisters. He had cousins spread out across the world, but none he could lean on in the same way he had his parents. Sure, he had his friends, but could he really expect them to remain single forever? No. That had been naive of him.

His father's death had made him realize that he did want to settle down, eventually. He wanted someone to share his life with, to take care of, to love.

Then, by some amazing stroke of luck, he found her (or so he thought). His companion. The love of his life. Then she destroyed him, and he gave up looking. He had lost all hope. He didn't trust himself after that, so he kept living like a reckless teenager- wild, promiscuous, irresponsible.

Then he met Lily Evans.

Did he dare get his hopes up again? It was a bad idea on so many levels, and he knew it.

His door creaked open then, interrupting his thoughts. Sirius popped his head into the room and frowned at James.

"Alright, mate?" he asked tentatively. "You're not thinking about life again, are you?"

"Maybe I am," James replied. "So what?"

"You know what happens when you do that," Sirius joked. "You get even stupider than usual."

James didn't have the energy to retort, so he just laughed halfheartedly. "I don't want to be alone forever, Padfoot."

Sirius' face fell. "This is about Lily Evans again, isn't it?"

James was silent. Sirius sighed, and James knew he was trying to control himself. James recognized a flash of annoyance in his friend's eyes, and he braced himself. Sirius was the most unpleasant sort when he was angry.

"You have to snap out of this, James- if not for yourself, for the rest of us. It took _months _for you to get back to some form of normal after what happened the last time you got this wrapped up in a woman."

James sat up immediately, his anger flaring.

"Are you seriously going to bring that up again? How can I bloody put it in the past when-"

"Oh, come off it, James!" Sirius cut in. "You let yourself get swept up in romantic bullshit fantasies and then you get crushed and the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces!"

"This isn't like last time," James growled. "That was a mistake. I never should have trusted someone who could never understand—"

"No," Sirius interrupted again, "you shouldn't have. And you shouldn't _now, _either. Lily Evans is _bad news. _Anyone with eyes can see it. She is going to _destroy you_ with that story she's going to write. And she's going to write it, whether you're in love with her or not. And you're a bloody _idiot _if you try to tell yourself otherwise. So forget about her and _stop returning her owls!" _he shouted the last bit, and James recoiled.

James just stared at Sirius for a moment, blood pounding in his ears and the memories rushing back. "You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. You don't know anything about Lily. You don't know anything." His voice shook with fury. He knew Sirius wasn't completely wrong, but he was too angry to care.

"I just can't see you like that again." Sirius' voice was softer this time.

James ignored the pleading in his friend's voice and leapt off the bed toward the door.

"Fine. You won't see me at all, then."

He slammed the door so hard it shook in its hinges.

* * *

Lily felt a bit better as she left Alice's flat and made her way to her office. She was only slightly hurt that Alice had kept her relationship a secret, and Lily supposed that she deserved it considering how she had reacted in the first place.

She really was happy for Alice. She was. She had been a bit judgmental, that was true. She could admit that. Alice could take care of herself, though, and she deserved to love someone and be loved back. But that didn't mean that she had changed Lily's mind or that Lily was going to go and fall in love, too. She still was wary of what it meant to fall in love.

Lily was still lost in thought as she entered her building. Her throat constricted as she thought of opening herself up to someone like Alice was to Frank. Just the thought gave her anxiety. When you love someone, he doesn't necessarily love you back. Or, even if he does…that doesn't mean he always will. And that was what scared her. Better not to love at all, right? Right. That's what her life had taught her thus far.

No, she wasn't about to change her opinion just because Alice had gone and fallen in love. Or because she'd met a charming man with messy hair who she somehow, inexplicably, was beginning to trust.

She sighed and tried to shake irrational thoughts of James Potter away (she found herself having to do this a lot lately_) _as she reached her cubicle and settled in to do a bit of writing. She let herself fall into reporter mode and lose herself in her assignment. She was so focused on her work that she didn't notice when someone came barreling through the door into the newsroom. The commotion that followed still didn't rouse her until someone said her name loudly. She looked up finally to see her coworkers directing someone to her cubicle.

Her heart jumped into her throat when she saw James Potter making his way to her desk.

* * *

"Lily," he greeted, running his hands through his hair nervously. "I'm sorry to bother you at work like this."

"Not at all, James," Lily replied as she jumped up from her seat and moved to stand in front of her desk. Despite her calm voice, her cheeks flushed beautifully, and it gave James the confidence he needed to forge ahead.

"I just needed to tell you that…well…" he took a deep breath. He moved closer to her, holding her gaze without wavering. His stomach was fluttering with nerves, and his heart beat erratically in his chest, but he didn't let it show on his face. He was so close to her now, he could hear her own breath coming fast.

"What is it, James?" her voice wavered, but her gaze did not.

He responded by taking her face in his hands and kissing her directly on the mouth. As his lips met hers, she gasped in shock, but he felt her body relax into his as she kissed him back. It was a slow, aching kiss, full of all the overwhelming emotions coursing through his body. _And she was kissing him back!_

_Lily Evans kissed me back! _His brain buzzed with this thought as he pulled away slowly. Her eyes were still closed, his hands still on her face. He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face at the sight of her, breathless and flushed, a ghost of a smile pulling at her lips...

Then, her eyes popped open and she seemed to come to her senses.

"I think maybe you should leave," she whispered. His heart plummeted into his stomach at the look of shame and confusion on her face as she stared at him. He felt the hope and relief that had been flooding through him evaporate in an instant, leaving him more vulnerable than he had ever been in his life.

He gave her one last, searching look before turning and leaving the office without another word.

He _knew_ thinking about life was always a bad idea.


	6. Broken

**A/N: Hi all! I know this update took a bit longer than my previous ones, but the holiday season was quite busy and I was doing a lot of other writing and such. **

**Anyway, thanks to all of you who continue to read and review. It really means a lot. I also want to remind everyone that this story is AU—it does NOT follow canon. A lot of what happens relates to canon and isn't that far off, but this chapter brings up some things that are most certainly not canon and I didn't want to get any backlash as a result! **

**So please enjoy the chapter and thanks again for your support!**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER. **

Lily's stomach sank as she looked up from her book to see a large tawny owl pecking at her window, a letter in her beak. The letter had the same seal as the previous ones—ornate, red, with a swirling "P" in the center. She opened the window to allow the owl inside, but immediately crumpled the letter and threw it onto the growing pile on her desk. The owl squawked angrily and clicked her beak, upset at Lily's refusal to read the letter she had so carefully carried.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to write to James just yet," she said, more for her own benefit than the owl's. "I don't know what to say to him."

She tried to shoo the owl back out the window, but the creature didn't want to budge. Lily sighed and sat down at her desk, wondering how many unanswered letters it would take before he would stop writing to her. She stroked the owl's feathers absently while remembering the look on James' face last week when he had left her office.

He had looked so hurt, so vulnerable. It wasn't the first time a man had looked at her like that, but it was certainly the first time she'd felt sorry for causing it. She had never wanted so badly to take something back, to wipe that look off his face, to reassure him that she had wanted him to kiss her.

Because she had wanted him to kiss her, hadn't she? All week since he had kissed her, she had wrestled with the realization that a part of her—a much bigger part than she cared to admit—trusted James.

Lily Evans had long lost the ability to trust. In that brief moment when his lips had touched hers, she remembered how it felt to let her guard down and still feel safe—something she had not experienced in a long time. Sure, she trusted Alice, superficially. But she still felt insecure that one day their friendship would end, and then she would be alone again.

Lily hadn't truly trusted another person since she was eleven years old. She tried to shut her eyes and push the memories away, but she couldn't prevent the images from flooding in. She pulled her arms around her legs and tried to quell the shaking and the heartache as she remembered her sister, her best friend, calling her a freak. Her parents, horrified by her magical abilities, sending her away. The horrible place where she spent two years of her life, getting the magic beaten out of her. The fear and uncertainty she felt when she finally managed to run away. Her mistrust of Alice's family, the only kind souls willing to take her in and teach her how to properly use her magic.

Her life had taught her protect her heart and keep it locked up, safe and sound. If her family, the only people in the entire world who were supposed to love her always, could abandon her, then why would she willingly open up to anyone else? She had never once considered that anyone trustworthy enough might come along.

Until now.

* * *

Remus Lupin sat at the bar with his head bowed and his hands wrapped tightly around his beer. A young couple took the seats next to him and he looked up briefly at them. The man raised his eyebrows when he noticed Remus' old checkered jacket and tattered trousers. He was tired of the stares and raised eyebrows and condescending comments, so he looked the man in the eye and crossed his arms defensively. The man recoiled from Remus' angry glare, grabbing the woman's arm and pulling her away to new seats much farther away from Remus.

He turned away from the couple and let his head droop again. A familiar flash of guilt settled in his chest as he thought about how fast things had escalated in the past few months. When he had graduated school last spring, he and his friends had settled into their own routines surprisingly quickly. James and Sirius started playing professional Quidditch immediately, Peter started work at _The Daily Prophet _as an assistant, and Remus was lucky enough to be offered a job at an apothecary.

Things were going smoothly—until the rumors started. At his friends' Quidditch matches, at work, at their favorite pub…no matter where he went, people were whispering about him and his "furry little problem."

No one came out and said _werewolf, _of course. They whispered jabs about his shabby clothes, the pallor of his skin, his cuts and bruises, and what that all meant. His friends endured stares and comments about the trash they associated with. By September, Remus had lost his job.

It had been a month since he was fired, and things were only getting worse. Remus insisted that he keep his distance as much as possible from his friends in order to protect them. Peter, Sirius, James, and James' parents were the only ones, to their knowledge, who knew the true nature of Remus' condition. Remus refused to entertain the idea that any of his friends would betray him, but he had no idea who could have done this. The trouble he was causing his friends tore away at him wretchedly, plaguing his thoughts all day long and haunting his dreams at night.

His thoughts were interrupted by the barmaid, who was apparently trying to get his attention.

"Another drink?" she nodded toward his nearly empty tankard.

"No, thank you," he replied, draining the last of his beer quickly as he stood up. He checked his old pocket watch with a sigh and noticed that it was half past six. He turned to leave but was surprised to see James making his way toward the bar.

"James," Remus hissed as James appeared beside him. "I told you to meet me out back."

"I'm not meeting you out back by the bins as if you're some kind of criminal," James scoffed, holding his head up high. "You're my mate, Remus."

Remus grumbled and looked around. The couple from earlier was watching him again, the man's eyes narrowed and suspicious. Other patrons were starting to stare, too.

"Let's just get out of here," Remus pushed James toward the door and away from the glaring crowd. "It's not friendly in here."

The night air was cold as they stepped into the back alley. Remus shivered as the wind cut through the holes on his tattered jacket.

"Don't let them get to you, mate," James said. "They're prejudiced. They don't know the real you."

"They don't need to," Remus growled, kicking the ground. "I'm tired of getting glared at all because someone had to go spreading gossip about me. I'm tired of people whispering about you and Sirius and Pete—"

"Remus," James grabbed his friend's shoulders. "Relax. We'll get to the bottom of it. I promise you that. I don't care what people are saying about me, and neither do Peter and Sirius. You know that. We're just worried about you, mate."

"Well DON'T!" Remus groaned. "Please just…I can't do this anymore. I'm leaving town. Tomorrow."

"Remus, please!" James said, desperation in his voice. "The full moon is on Saturday. Three days away. Just—stay for the full moon. Don't do anything rash. We'll talk through this. We'll figure something out."

James loosened his grip on Remus' shoulders as the latter stopped fighting and slumped to the ground with his head in his hands.

"We'll go to my mum's tomorrow. I'm sure she'll help us figure out something. She's bound to know someone who can get you a job—"

"If I stay, will you run with us on Saturday?" Remus interrupted. "I know you and Sirius had a fight, but I can't leave town knowing that you aren't speaking."

"I…" James sputtered. "I can't face him yet." _Mostly because I know he's right._

"James. You need each other more than ever. Things are getting serious. Ten more Muggles have been found dead."

"Ten _more?" _James' mouth fell open. "How did this happen?"

"Wow, your head really has been up your arse," Remus muttered. "Yes, James, Voldemort is getting stronger and he's killing Muggleborns and blood traitors, and any Muggles that get in his way."

James was silent for a few moments. He'd been so consumed with what was going on with Lily that he hadn't heard about the latest killings. They weren't broadcasted, of course—the papers did a fine job of covering up what was really happening, all in the name of "preventing panic." Most people knew better—that Voldemort had followers on the inside at The Ministry, and they were keeping everything quiet, thereby creating more panic. But James hadn't been paying attention to anything regarding Voldemort.

In fact, James hadn't really paid much attention to anything since his father died. He focused all of his effort on Quidditch, ignoring the outside world, grieving for his father and doing all he could to suppress the guilt gnawing at his insides. His heart pounded painfully as he realized how bad things have gotten.

"James?" Remus stood and waved his hand in front of James' face. "Are you going to run with us or not? We need to stick together. And if it means I have to stay until after the full moon to make sure you two resolve your differences, then I will. I couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to you."

"Of course I will, Remus. But…we don't want you to leave," James replied. "I know this has been tough on you, but we won't run out on you, no matter how tough it gets for all of us."

Remus only nodded in response.

* * *

Lily felt like all of the air had been sucked out of her lungs. She stared at the letter, trying to catch her breath, her heart racing.

_You have yet to get the information we need. I heard about what happened at the office—the whole staff saw him kiss you. Go to him, and tell him that you reciprocate his feelings. Date him. Meet his family. Do whatever you have to do, but this is your last chance. If you fail, I will destroy you. You will have no job, and no one to run to. I will make sure of that. _

_Having a relationship with a source is more than enough grounds for me to fire you. And there were plenty of witnesses. Do not fail. _

Lily was horrified. If she didn't get involved with James, she would be fired. If she followed her editor's orders…if she got involved with James…she'd have to destroy him.

Could she really do that? Could she destroy the one person that had given her hope? But hope is nothing but a possibility. Lily needed certainty. Not hope. _You can only trust yourself. You are on your own._

But _was_ she?James had kissed her. That means he has feelings for her, doesn't it? That he wants a relationship with her? If she were left without a job, would James take care of her? Could she let him?

She didn't know. What she did know was that she didn't have time to find out. Time was running out, fast. Her editor was not going to wait.

James' face flashed through her mind and she felt her heart breaking. But she didn't have a choice.

As the owl faded into the sunset, Lily's note to James in her beak, Lily finally let herself cry.


End file.
